it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
