Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
