I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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