Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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