My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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