I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
