so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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