Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my shit smells like andre
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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