I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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