wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sober January is a disaster.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
