i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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