we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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