Apparently you make a good broom.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
