wat bout pragnant strippers??
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
