i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
