Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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