Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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