i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
