Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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