Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize