were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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