Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
