i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
