Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
