Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
