i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
