Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
