You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
