There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
