piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
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I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
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We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me