i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
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I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.