watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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