After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
