dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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