Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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