I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize