Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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