college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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