physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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