his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize