She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
