carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
