I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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