Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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