I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
