as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
