Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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