is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
