What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
