So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
