I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
