Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize