you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
