I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
