Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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