dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
