Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...