You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
