Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit