one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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