After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just gargled with NyQuil
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
