Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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