Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
