genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Terrible idea I love it
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever