dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now