This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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